One of the hardest and most emotionally devastating things I have ever done was admit I was abused and as a abuse survivor, it has become increasingly noticeable, that many people don%26rsquo;t understand what exactly abuse is, what forms it can present in and what the symptoms of abuse are. For instance did you know that out of all the children, children in need looked after, 55% of them were abused in one-way shape or form? And that%26rsquo;s a lot!But, what is abuse and what ways can it present?
Abuse is a general term for the misuse of a person or thing, causing harm to the person or thing, to the abuser, or to someone else. Abuse can be something as simple as damaging a piece of equipment through using it the wrong way, or as serious as severe maltreatment of a person. Abuse may be direct and overt, or may be disguised and covert.
Abuse can present in four main ways:
- Sexual abuse: Where there is the improper use of another person for sexual purposes, generally without their consent or under physical or psychological pressure
- Emotional abuse:Where one person uses emotional or psychological coercion to compel another to do something they do not want, or is not in their best interests; or when one person manipulates another's emotional or psychological state for their own ends (or commits psychological aggression using ostensibly non-violent methods to inflict mental or emotional violence or pain on another.
- Physical abuse: Where one person inflicts physical violence or pain on another.
- Neglect: where the responsible adults fail to take proper care of those unable to care for themselves.
So, what are the symptoms of a child that has suffered or is suffering child abuse?
Although these signs do not necessarily indicate that a child has been abused, they may help adults recognise that something is wrong. The possibility of abuse should be investigated if a child shows a number of these symptoms, or any of them to a marked degree:
Sexual Abuse:
- Being overly affectionate or knowledgeable in a sexual way inappropriate to the child's age
- Medical problems such as chronic itching, pain in the genitals, venereal diseases
- Other extreme reactions, such as depression, self-mutilation, suicide attempts, running away, overdoses, anorexia
- Personality changes such as becoming insecure or clinging
- Regressing to younger behaviour patterns such as thumb sucking or bringing out discarded cuddly toys
- Sudden loss of appetite or compulsive eating
- Being isolated or withdrawn
- Inability to concentrate
- Lack of trust or fear of someone they know well, such as not wanting to be alone with a babysitter or child minder
- Starting to wet again, day or night/nightmares
- Become worried about clothing being removed
- Suddenly drawing sexually explicit pictures
- Trying to be 'ultra-good' or perfect; overreacting to criticism
Emotional Abuse:
- Physical, mental and emotional development lags
- Sudden speech disorders
- Continual self-depreciation ('I'm stupid, ugly, worthless, etc')
- Overreaction to mistakes
- Extreme fear of any new situation
- Inappropriate response to pain ('I deserve this')
- Neurotic behaviour (rocking, hair twisting, self-mutilation)
- Extremes of passivity or aggression
Physical Abuse:
- Unexplained recurrent injuries or burns
- Improbable excuses or refusal to explain injuries
- Wearing clothes to cover injuries, even in hot weather
- Refusal to undress for gym
- Bald patches
- Chronic running away
- Fear of medical help or examination
- Self-destructive tendencies
- Aggression towards others
- Fear of physical contact - shrinking back if touched
- Admitting that they are punished, but the punishment is excessive (such as a child being beaten every night to 'make him study')
- Fear of suspected abuser being contacted
Neglect:
- Constant hunger
- Poor personal hygiene
- Constant tiredness
- Poor state of clothing
- Emaciation
- Untreated medical problems
- No social relationships
- Compulsive scavenging
- Destructive tendencies
Please Note that a child may be subjected to a combination of different kinds of abuse. It is also possible that a child may show no outward signs and hide what is happening from everyone. Knowing how damaging abuse is to children, it is up to the adults around them to take responsibility for stopping it and to know to react in this situation. For instance, if a child tells you that they are being abused it is important that the adult stays calm and reassuring because it may the panic the child.
In this situation the adult should find a safe place to talk to the child and believes everything they are being told, but not press for information. An abuse survivor, need support and protection therefore you should always, if necessary, seek medical help and contact the police or social services.
My opinion
When I turned 16, I spoke out about abuse, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. However, in doing so I have met a number of people who have been in the same boat I have and I have seen that abuse can affect people in different ways. There is no textbook case but I know that if my parents knew these symptoms 7 years ago, maybe abuse would have been full stop for me. One of the most heart breaking things which I have read was by a friend ofmine who said'that abuse is the fire and I beauty from the ashes'. Abuse does indeed mould people butone thing for sure is : 'abuse can and will only survive if silence is kept'.
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